In the continuation of this series, Psycho Gorilla takes a look at an alternate, Biff Tannen kind of NES game run through the magic of hasty work in Photoshop for cart impressions, with occasional matching 8-bit theme music submitted by Peachy. Each new installment will feature three games that could have been, whether they should have ever come into creation or not. Each will be discussed briefly on original concept, potential content, strength of gameplay, and possible ROM hack ideas that could very well lead to a forbidden Dr. Frank N. Stein ambition that, with a little repro work to support them, might just bring these into existence after all. Don't say I didn't warn you.
THIS WEEK'S INDUCTIONS
Original Concept: Bob Saget plays a wholesome father who would suck dick for coke, Uncle Joey makes "funny" voices and proves to be the worst TV uncle of all time, John Stamos gest confused for the equally punchable Richard Grieco, and at least one of the daughters has a meth addiction. Two others grew up to the disappointment of pedophiles. Wacky hijinks ensue.
Potential Content: A game created based on the premise of a family sitcom could easily fit any scenario involving pie fights, minigames, minigames involving pie fights, exploring the house for Bob Saget's drugs, and exploring the house for drugs that create the hallucination of pie fights started by Gary Coleman.
Strength of Gameplay: Varied. A game devoted to keeping in line with the show would be beyond bad, but ironically, the typical setting of complete fucking mayhem that often has no business in a licensed game would thrive in an unprecedented appropriateness.
Possible ROM Hack Ideas: Maniac Mansion, Back to the Future, Paperboy.
Original Concept: David "The Hoff" Hasselhoff, also known as God in Germany, and his ripple pecks (as described by Geraldo in a guest appearance) save lives and fight crime and sometimes even vampires in the spinoffs, together with superhunks, white-hot bimbos in the later seasons and serious actresses in the earlier seasons. On the beach.
Potential Content: Name it. It's Baywatch. There's something in it for everybody.
Strength of Gameplay: Very High. Mitch Buchannon is the one man Golgo-13 fears, and he can go anywhere and do anything, but mostly fights against this guy:
Results speak for themselves sometimes.
Possible ROM Hack Ideas: Name it. It's Baywatch. There's something in it for everybody.
Original Concept: Fred Dryer shoots people and blows shit up while being taller and baldinger than most people, including his black chief, Irish chief, and Mexican chief. His partner, McCall, is attractive in an '80s housewife way and very few other ways. Guest stars/victims/criminals include everyone ever on television. Crimey hijinks ensue.
Potential Content: Car chases, car explosions, car races, car stakeouts, jumping, ducking, hiding, running, gunning, gunfights, gunshots, gun wounds, rape, apes and police tape.
Strength of Gameplay: Very High. Movies have proven you can take any plot and throw in a police theme. With licensed NES games, it's the same rule of thumb multiplied by 50.
Possible ROM Hack Ideas: Batman, Operation Wolf, Robocop with a very, very slightly altered sprite. Many, many others.