SHIN NEKKETSU KOUHA: KUNIO TACHI NO BANKA

If there's one game that the retro crowd loves to fellate, it's that sweet tasting River City Ransom, a game whose proverbial sperm tastes like chocolate syrup.  Very rarely will a naysayer have a voice in any RCR-related review argument, lest that person get permabanned for disagreeing with the hive mind, and deservedly so, because fuck 'em.  Yet, for whatever reason, none -- count 'em -- NONE of Technos' efforts fell into such cult status before or since (Double Dragon doesn't count, because that shit was mainstream and fucking legendary).  And for that same reason, we roundeyes never got to see several of the sequels, spinoffs or tie-ins to Technos' RCR universe (known as the Kunio series to those who bombed Pearl Harbor) that were at least partially as enjoyable as standalone games in their own right.

And, as far as a Renegade/RCR sequel in its own right goes, it does most of the right things at most of the right times.  Probably the most hilarious premise of the game is the idea of a lookalike of the protagonist framing him for a hit-and-run, totally reinforcing that all chinese-ish folk look alike.  After the initial prison fight and chase sequence, you're able to do all sorts of moves via the block button, sort of similar to the control scheme of Double Dragon II on the Game Boy (another Kunio game with a facelift).  You'll end up with 4 playable characters with somewhat varying movesets, including the age-old Hundred Hand Slap, Cyclone Kick, Flying Knee, etc.  Not surprisingly, this game is significantly more fun with 2 players, as is par for the beat 'em up course.  Throughout the sexperience, you'll run into familiar scenery and enemies from Renegade and RCR, all to a pretty rockin' Technos soundtrack.  The final boss is even the same one from Renegade, complete with his gun, the bane of all beat 'em up protagonists who never bring one themselves.  And for whatever reason, you fight him in his mansion, which is mysteriously on fire.  Presumably it's arson and the whole thing will lead to a hefty insurance policy payoff.  The only off-putting detail about the game is the translated ROM, which sports so much swearing that it couldn't possibly have been anything but a gratuitous addition on the translators' part.  Then again, if the dialogue were overly clean, it wouldn't quite match the context of people getting shot or stomped or mount punched to death, so something has to give after all.

This absurdly-named import is all kinds of fun, sort of the geisha hooker that all the boys tag-teamed from time to time during the Big One, the one that gave all the best massages with happy endings, was open to bukkake, and was just as fun in future visits if anybody could remember what the brothel's building looked like.  It isn't RCR, but Bloodsport II wasn't Bloodsport, either.  Still fun regardless.  I give it one Daniel Bernhardt.

BONUS TRIVIA: Double Dragon II on the GB is largely hated despite playing almost identically to this game.  Can't quite figure out why a lot of online reviewers seem not to like Double Dragon II on the GB.  In fact, every DDII gets some hate from a variety of "sources."

My favorite part are the black villains who are twice your size, considerably stronger and faster than the protagonists, and have massive lips.

Vintage Technos!  Coco Saveges everywhere!  Only difference is, I would have had lots of them in the stretches leading up to and including the last stage.

That will be a prominent subject when I get around to Power Rangers and playing as the Niggardly Ranger, too.

Been giving this another go, since I've blacktually made threads for it on older forums. 

There are two parts early on I really like:  the boss fight on top of the derelict school where you fight on the roof as the building is collapsing, and the one at the base of the ferris wheel.

Something about that part or any part where you can hang from something on the ceiling that I don't feel is too obvious is that you have to jump and then push the punch button to grab things, it makes the part with the ferris wheel a lot more enjoyable because you'll be waiting for assholes to ride down so you can kick them off the carts and fight them on the ground.  Additionally, if you're hanging from a hook or some other thing where your front area isn't blocked, you can kick people.

Also also!   If you kick someone while hanging from something, you do a stupid amount of damage, like, enough that if you'll take someone out in just two hits.  It's timing is a bit weird and the AI is smart enough to walk around  and hit you from behind whilst your hanging.

I almost wish it had some New Game + mode where you opt for a gun, or play as Sabu.  In fact, that was one of the game's downsides.  Weapons always make games about street fighting more fun and blackurate.

Great writeup.  I'll give it a run this weekend.

Great writeup.  I'll give it a run this weekend.